You’ve started a new business, but you’re not getting the traffic you hoped to get. You’ve posted a YouTube video on watercolor painting techniques but haven’t gotten many views. You’re disappointed, a bit worried, beating yourself up, and second-guessing your decisions. Your self-esteem has taken a big hit.

What these situations have in common is that self-esteem is riding on things you can’t control. Even with the best business model, you can’t control the outcome—the economy may go into recession, a hurricane may destroy your shop— just as you can’t control the response of others to your video regardless of how well you crafted it or how skilled a painter you are. If your measure of success in your life is solely based on the success of your accomplishments or the positive responses of others, you’re not only living in the future but you also are emotionally doomed.

Unfortunately, many people live their lives........

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