You’ve tried being supportive, firm, and clear but are still frustrated. There’s a small change for a few days or weeks or no change at all, and you’ve reached your bottom line. It’s time to put your foot down, issue that ultimatum, and put these problems to rest once and for all.

We all have our bottom lines and are capable of reaching some tipping point: Your child is not cleaning their room though they promise to do so; your adult child is still languishing in your basement and has not made any headway finding a job; your partner is not following through helping out with the kids after work or is drinking too much though you’ve told him how and why it bothers you. Though the topic and situation may vary, the emotional strain and the need for some final decisive action are the same.

But taking that nuclear option and issuing that ultimatum can be overwhelming; it is your one shot to get your message to finally stick. Here are some guidelines to help you do what you’ve got to do.

You already know that a frustrated rant at your child, your basement dweller, or your partner, who you see sitting on the couch while you’re scrambling to make dinner, doesn’t work. Your yelling and threatening only ignite some argument or a shutdown that goes nowhere.

Though your frustration is understandable, those periodic emotional........

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