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There are psychological implications of a breakup.

Rumination can make it harder to recover from a failed relationship.

You can take steps to remain positive after a breakup.

Although springtime is synonymous with new beginnings, this is not always the case with romantic relationships among young people today. During their parents’ generation, relationships were expected to culminate in marriage. Today, relationship togetherness is often a matter of comfort during a period of time. Many young adult relationships will fade and come to an end. This can be devastating to one’s self-esteem.

Numerous anecdotal reports point out that April is the month of breakups. Theories behind this timing range from rambunctiousness to a desire for a fresh start.

Psychological implications of breakups

According to Freeman et al. (2023), “Today, Western-educated young men and women spend much of their third decade of life (i.e., 20–29 years of age) in committed non-marital unions. While formal marriage has been delayed or declined, the majority of young adults still seek companionship, with roughly 75 percent of marriages in the US now preceded by cohabitation.”

Yet even in non-marital unions, when these romantic relationships fail, research suggests that the breakups can be traumatic for young people.

However, evidence reported by Aviles et al. (2020) in the European Journal of Personality indicates that “[b]eing single during late adolescence and emerging adulthood does not seem to pose a risk for youth’s self-esteem development.” While the month of a breakup can be devastating, research suggests that within three months, people can revert to pre-breakup levels.

Rumination has a negative impact

There is an exception, however, to the three-month recovery timeline—rumination. It seems that rumination can be detrimental on several levels, ranging from physical health to psychological implications.

In a study focusing on the roles of rumination and coping strategies in shaping adjustment to breakup-related stress (Mancone et al., 2025), “Rumination emerged as a significant predictor of negative outcomes in academic performance and physical health.” Rumination can disrupt one’s ability to get things done and can even be damaging to psychological health.

How to remain positive after a breakup

Avoid rumination: Negativity leads to depression.

Start your days with gratitude: By expressing gratitude–even for love lost–you remind yourself of the good times you shared.

Resist angry talk: Despite the temptation to talk disparagingly about your former love, speaking kindly will encourage you to maintain a positive focus.

Practice image replacement: If you find yourself feeling alone and falling into a dark hole, find a photo of yourself during a happy time. Focus on the inner you, the person you know to be lovable and deserving of new love.

Try using a gratitude journal: Research from Gary Lewandowski, Ph.D., has found that writing about positive aspects of a breakup increases feelings such as comfort, confidence, empowerment, energy, happiness, optimism, relief, satisfaction, thankfulness, and wisdom.

Guard against repeating the past: When seeking a new love, be mindful of traits that precipitated your breakup.

Consider rebound love: A new person may not be “the one” for you, but perhaps “the one for now” can lift your spirits, and together the two of you can bring each other some happiness.

The value of a rebound: Keep in mind that the warmth of someone sensitive and caring by nature is like sunshine—a little goes a long way.

Copyright 2026 Rita Watson, MPH

Why Relationships Matter

Take our Can You Spot Red Flags In A Relationship?

Find a therapist to strengthen relationships

Freeman H, Simons J, Benson NF. Romantic Duration, Relationship Quality, and Attachment Insecurity among Dating Couples. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023 Jan 3;20(1):856. doi: 10.3390/ijerph20010856. PMID: 36613178; PMCID: PMC9820285

Aviles et al. Not all flowers bloom in April: Self-esteem development surrounding the first romantic relationship during adolescence and emerging adulthood. September 2022 European Journal of Personality 37(1):08902070221124723.

Mancone S, Celia G, Bellizzi F, Zanon A, Diotaiuti P. Emotional and cognitive responses to romantic breakups in adolescents and young adults: the role of rumination and coping mechanisms in life impact. Front Psychiatry. 2025 Mar 28;16:1525913. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1525913. PMID: 40225842; PMCID: PMC11985774

Lewandowski, G. (2009). Promoting positive emotions following relationship dissolution through writing. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 4(1), 21-31.

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