"Asking my kids to get into the bath was like shouting into a void. Frustration. They demanded I chase them. That got them up the stairs. But then they would run into rooms, gang up on me by setting the other free by tickling me. They refused to get undressed and get into the bath. Why would they? This was fun, and they had the upper hand.

I decided to trap them both in one room and get their clothes off, so they had to get in the tub. They turned the light out to reduce my chances, and when I could start to make them out as my eyes accommodated, they would switch the light on to blind me. After 20-30 minutes, they were in the bath.

That bedtime was effortful but easy in the sense that there were no fallouts. The next day, my daughter said, 'Can we play that "dun-dun-dah" game again?' Bath time wasn't so easy. Slowly, I used the game as a way to get them to bed earlier, even when I really couldn't be bothered. It is good for them as well as me; it balms any fallouts we may have had. We laugh, we fall, we hurt, we come together to check if we've heard a big THUNK, and then we continue."

Joe's honest and heartfelt story may hit home for you. We've all been here, whether negotiating screen time, tackling homework battles, ending play dates, or managing bedtime struggles. These moments of frustration, impatience, or even anxiety aren't a failure on your part—they're a sign that your body has shifted into a state designed to protect and defend. It's not intentional; it's reflexive, adaptive, and rooted in primitive survival-based mechanisms.

In Joe's example, as bathtime approaches, her body starts gearing up for the anticipated battle. Without realizing it, her heart rate increases, her breathing becomes quicker, and her muscles tense as her body mobilizes resources for the "fight." She feels this........

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