People who are recipients of donor eggs or donor sperm often ask me if they should reach out to their children’s donor-related siblings, and if so, when. Donor embryo connections tend to be different in many ways, so for this article, let’s focus on families who have used donor eggs or sperm and a few points to consider regarding if and when to connect with donor siblings.

Often, people are curious about donor-related siblings for medical or emotional reasons. Since many sperm and egg banks and agencies create contracts with donors offering them anonymity until the future child becomes eighteen, parents of donor-conceived children often want to respect this informal rule. It is widely known that anonymity is no longer possible or preferable in a world with the internet, direct-to-consumer genetic testing, and published research about the benefits of early disclosure to children. Yet, these “rules” continue to exist, and parents-to-be, not knowing the donors' real wishes, often abide by the age of 18 rule. However, there is no such “rule” for genetically related siblings, and we have found that many donors and genetically related siblings feel comfortable with contact.

Connections with siblings appear to be less complicated than relationships with their donors. Donor-conceived children have reported feeling a wide range of emotions about their donors, from feeling like they are their........

© Psychology Today