What does it mean to be a “hopeless romantic?” It's easy to find media articles recounting people’s opinions on this, but from a scientific perspective, what it really refers to is a kind of implicit theory that some people hold about what makes for a good relationship. Specifically, it refers to a belief in relationship destiny.

This belief system is quite common. As it turns out, however, it can sabotage our chances at finding lasting love.

Destiny belief is defined as “the belief that potential relationship partners are either compatible or they are not." People who hold this belief think that they need only minimal information about another person to know whether they click and whether they can make a relationship work. In other words, it’s either meant to be, or it isn’t. There’s no middle ground or uncertainty.

This belief system involves seeing love through a very romanticized lens—one that has qualities akin to what you might hear about in a fairy tale. For example, someone with strong destiny beliefs is likely to believe strongly in the idea of “love at first sight” and that there is one perfect partner out there for them who will suddenly appear and sweep them off of their feet, with a........

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