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De-Escalation for Dummies

4 16
yesterday

World peace is a nice idea, but it’s a biological impossibility. Conflict is as universal as a bad Nicolas Cage movie. Whether it’s two NFL fans sparring over a piece of rival-branded laundry, or two billionaires fighting over superyacht berthing, conflict is a core of our existence.

But if you want to stop living in a state of perpetual anger or irritation by instigators, you need a lesson in de-escalation.

To rise above conflict, you must first understand why your brain struggles with it. When someone disregards a boundary, your brain doesn’t perceive a simple oversight, it feels an intrinsic threat. This is the ‘amygdala hijack.’ Your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that pays the bills and understands mixed metaphors) goes offline. Your amygdala (the part that wants to torch and pillage) takes the helm.

BOSS: “What are you doing?”
ME: “Watching a video on how to effectively deal with co-workers.”
BOSS: “That’s kickboxing.”
ME: “Yeah, I know.”

Nneurobiological research suggests that the perception of social threat, such as a conflict of interest or a boundary violation, triggers the exact same physiological response as a physical threat. The resulting surge in cortisol and adrenaline creates a tunnel vision effect, making de-escalation nearly impossible without conscious intervention.

In this state, you aren't a rational human; you’re a weaponized meat sack. This is why the "Real Housewives" franchise is a........

© Psychology Today