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Helping Your Adult Child With Finances Without Enabling

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07.10.2024

Watching your adult child struggle with money can be difficult and emotional as a parent. You may want to step in and rescue them from their financial problems, whether covering their bills, offering them a loan, or even giving them a place to stay. But it’s important to remember that too much help can hinder their ability to become financially independent.

When I coach parents struggling to determine how to help their adult children best financially, I help them see that balancing support with encouraging self-sufficiency is vital. Here are real-life scenarios of how parents can assist their adult children constructively without enabling, as well as practical tips for doing it right.

Ava, 28, had recently been laid off from her marketing job and struggled to make ends meet. She called her mother, Carla, in tears because her bank account was overdrawn, and she had overdue rent and utility bills piling up. Carla’s first instinct was to wire Ava the money to cover all her expenses, but she knew this wouldn’t solve the root of the problem.

Instead, Carla took a different approach. She told Ava she would cover one month’s rent if she took specific steps to address her situation. This included sending at least five resumes weekly and cutting back on unnecessary expenses like takeout and streaming services. This way, Ava received immediate relief but was held accountable for improving her situation.

Tip: If you don't mind, could you offer conditional help? Tying financial support to actions like job hunting or........

© Psychology Today


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