I recently read Finding a Place to Stand: Developing Self-Reflective Institutions, Leaders, and Citizens, by Edward R. Shapiro, M.D. ​​Feeling that he had so much worth sharing, I reached out to the author, who kindly agreed to an interview. This is the second of two posts. You can find the first here.

When we are working with other people, from significant others to family groups, to professional teams and other social systems, it's easy to focus on how we are right and how they are wrong. A simple reframe, asking ourselves, "How are they right?", can turn a fight into an opportunity for connection, collaboration, and learning. Asking how the other person is right completely changes the way we listen, from defensive to receptive.

GHB: What does taking a system perspective do for us?

ERS: Realizing that groups can get caught up in irrational behavior helps us, as individuals, to develop the capacity of participant-observer. We can stand back a bit, take our feelings seriously, and notice when the group isn’t focusing on the task at hand. That recognition might allow us to risk taking up leadership by speaking to the group’s excessive dependency, helping to slow down a fight or flight, or recognizing our withdrawal and overcoming it when the group idealizes other members.

The systems perspective also allows us to listen better to pressures on the outer boundary of the organization. For example, regulatory agencies, government, and competing institutions serve as feedback from the larger society about our institutions’ work. We don’t just have to........

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