Phrases like "boysober," "the ick," and "celibacy era" are increasingly creeping into the modern-day lexicon. They often do so under the guise of promising better well-being, and for women especially, a springboard from which they can reclaim sexual autonomy. Often, they are working their way into the collective psyche against the backdrop of a culture obsessed with self-care.

As a seasoned sex and relationship therapist, I fear these movements often do more harm than good.

Some trends, like “the ick,” seem to me to encourage people—usually women—to deliberately look for things in potential partners—usually men—that turn them off. These women might compile “ick” lists that include innocuous things like doggy paddling in water, showing their ankles, or taking naps.

Going “boysober” or entering into a “celibacy era," which involves committing to a (usually) long period of sexual and romantic abstinence, is lauded as a time for personal reflection and self-improvement. Yet by sidelining sexual intimacy altogether, we may be neglecting what is a fundamental aspect of the human experience for most people (though of course not all).

In the last 20 years, sexual frequency has declined, and many young adults have never even had a serious romantic relationship. Meanwhile, rates of anxiety and depression have climbed, especially among younger generations. Some........

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