There is a lot to consider when approaching polyamorous parenting, or blending multiple adults in any family.

Early in a polyamorous relationship, adults should talk about titles, affection, and time.

During a longer-term relationship, additional issues like daily care, housing, and behavior become important.

People in long-term relationships should discuss money, milestones, official recognition, and breaking up.

The popularity of divorce and nonmarital childbirth means that many people who already have children later form romantic relationships with other adults. Polyamorists and other nonmonogamous parents also form new romantic relationships. All of that means that parents need to figure out how their partners will interact with their children.

The following list is inspired by Polyam Parenting founder Jen Gerardy’s work on polyamorous parenting. A Holistic Family Consultant, breastfeeding advisor, and mediator, Gerardy helps parents juggle the commitments and emotional work of raising children in non-monogamous families. Below I condense Gerardy’s work and divide it into three sections:

1. Titles: What will we call each other? What will the child call each of us? Who gets to decide? Many polyamorous families often use the adults’ first names until otherwise noted. If the child(ren) want to call the adults something else, the kids usually create the name or nickname.

2. Affection: How are we going to express affection in front of the child? How do we show affection to the child, and how are they allowed to show affection to adults? For example, many parents prefer to allow their children to choose if they want to hug an adult or not, though some older adults can get very upset when a child refuses to hug them. How will the polycule handle it if their child does not want to hug Great Auntie........

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