A young person can be forgiven for feeling out of control when everything—their body, brain, hormones, interests, perspectives, identity, and relationships—are all changing. The people around them are changing, too, in their expectations and interactions. This period is more fraught, more challenging, and more dangerous for kids with special needs like ADHD.

Laurence Steinberg, a psychologist specializing in adolescence, describes the period from 11 to 14 as the “age of opportunity,” a time when so much can go so wrong, but also a time of great possibility, a time when a young person can find and develop strengths that will help them thrive into adulthood. It’s a time of intense brain-building, with all of the vulnerabilities and possibilities that that suggests.

Steinberg writes about early adolescence as a time when brain plasticity is heightened, second only to early childhood in opportunities for developing good (or bad) habits, and a critically important time for strengthening skills, resilience, and emotion regulation.

Early adolescence is a time for your child to consolidate their ability to monitor and regulate their emotions and behavior. As true as that is for all kids, it’s absolutely essential—and terribly difficult—if your child has ADHD. Given their distractibility, need for stimulation, and problems with impulse control, they’re more likely to be interested in drugs and alcohol and befriend older kids engaged in high-risk activities.

Because kids with ADHD usually need more structure and scaffolding than others, their academic frustrations can........

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