One of my favorite analogies for describing the emotional experience of a parent whose child has special needs is Emily Perl Kinglsey’s poem “Welcome to Holland.”

“Welcome to Holland” likens a parent’s expectation about what parenting would be and feel like to a tourist’s anticipation of exploring an unknown country, such as Italy.

After months, if not years of studying the Italian language and pouring over travel guides, not to mention basking in the anticipatory fantasy of the sensory delights of exploring Italy, parents discover that their plane has, instead, landed in Holland—where they are to stay permanently.

Goodbye fantasy (e.g., destination Italy) and hello Holland, your new normal. But wait, I only studied Italian tourist guides, parents may think in a panic, I know NOTHING about Holland, neither its language nor how to navigate its landscape. Nil.

The author beautifully concludes that after the initial shock subsides and feathers settle, many parents fall in love with the beauty of Holland and come to grow to appreciate the wonder of their new home. Some would not change where they live for the world, while others, depending on their circumstances and the meaning they attribute to their situation, may continue to grieve their unrealized dreams of Italy.

I find this clever analogy just as fitting for describing communication between people—in particular, between autistic and neurotypical individuals.

Through the analogy of Italy vs. Holland (in a strictly metaphorical way), challenges........

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