The first few years as a co-parent are the hardest, writes Zoë Desmond. When you’re working out what works for you both, Christmas can be a time where everything gets a bit messy.

On my second Christmas as a single mum, I handed Billy over to his dad at lunchtime. I was so happy to wake up with him on Christmas morning and unwrap his presents from Santa together, but I had this feeling of dread all morning that I would have to hand him over at any minute.

After I dropped him at his dad’s, I just sat in the car and cried.

It felt so wrong to be without him, and my family are in Ireland so I couldn’t be with them, either. Some local friends kindly invited me for lunch, which was lovely, but I knew from the experience that splitting the day wouldn’t work for us going forward.

Since then we’ve alternated Christmas and New Year between us and even the years without Billy have been lovely because I’ve been able to make plans by myself to rest and recharge.

I’ve built a local family of single parent friends, via the Frolo app, and Billy and I have even had a ‘Frolo family Christmas’. Getting on the app and connecting with others in the same situation is a huge comfort: it reminded me I wasn’t alone.

If you’re entering your first Christmas without the kids, please know that it will get easier every year. You still can (and will) make gorgeous memories with your children over the holiday period.

Here, Rebecca Cox, co-author of How To Be A Happy Single Parent,........

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