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So, we're one week out from Election Day, and one way or another, somebody is going to win this thing. It's not going to end in a tie like soccer or the hottest abs in the Cancun contest I should have won last year. Right now, the polls are razor-thin, at least according to the lying, spineless f---weeds in the media. Because if you compared the polls to common sense, you'd think we're in two different worlds. There's a celebratory vibe on one side and sheer bats--- craziness on the other. How can it be tied if one side is acting so desperate? I mean, we're having fun, and they're having seizures calling you Hitler.

The Wall Street Journal says "America is having a panic attack over the election." Sure. But is it really a both sides sort of thing? It seems every four years we only get more polarized. Hell, I remember the good old days when Randi Weingarten and I used to play men's doubles. Not anymore. Too much hate. So what are we going to do once it's over? How does a person come back from calling you a Nazi? It's going to make it really awkward at your nephew's bar mitzvah. So let's say you support Trump and he wins. How are you going to react? You'll probably gloat a little. I'll probably send the cast of The View a truckload of hogs to comfort eat.

Maybe you'll do an end zone dance. But, you know, there will be some seriously ticked off people if Trump wins. Hell, they're ticked off already. And if we consider recent history, it's entirely possible they'll riot if Trump wins.........

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