Canada's drone-flying soccer official got caught and sentenced in 48 hours. We need to make our justice system work as quickly as that

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Cheating? In soccer? The horror! What did the Canadian drones seek to learn from opposing teams’ practices? Which fake agonies they would be using when tackled? Crumpled in the fetal position, clutching a knee or ankle as if it had been partly amputated, or prostrate, pounding the turf, while peeking up to see if the referee was impressed yet? Players presumably practice these theatrics. Do they do it in front of mirrors? Or are their performances taped for critical analysis later? Among the many coaches teams carry these days there must be a drama teacher or two.

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My very limited knowledge of soccer suggests the famously flagrant fictionalizing is worse in the big-time men’s professional game than in the women’s international game (though many of the players are also now professionals) but soccer does seem to be a game where referees can expect no help at all from players in ascertaining what has actually happened on the field. When a foul is called on you, the rule is: protest vehemently. When a play is close to being offside all members of the defending team must raise their hands, claiming an infraction. When a ball hits a defender above the knees in the goal area all attackers must clutch their arms and claim “Hand........

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