Promises, promises, promises. You're probably sick of them.

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But what if there was an alternative party which made the sort of promises that other parties dare not make? Let's call it the Party of Reason, Altruism, and Truth.

Here are some of the things you might get in its fully-funded manifesto.

SAVING OUR HIGH STREETS: A five-year planning ban on opening any large shops outside specified High Street regeneration zones. Internet sales will be taxed at 50 per cent.

DEFENCE: HMS Prince of Wales and HMS Queen Elizabeth to be put on eBay and the money raised used to buy hundreds of thousands of drones.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: Why waste money on expensive schemes like the Rwanda plan? Instead erect large signs on pontoons floating in the middle of the English Channel bearing the message: Keep Out. It would be just as effective as the government's schemes and come at a fraction of the cost.

HOUSING: To tackle the rampant undercrowding crisis police will........

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