In the United States, between 40-50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. It’s even higher for second marriages: a whopping 60-70%. American Thinker contributor Robin Itzler recently met with First Lady Jill Biden to learn more about her and Joe and the secrets of their successful long-time marriage. (This is satire, for those who may be unsure.)

ME: You and President Biden have been married since 1977. There’ve been numerous stories about how you met. Some scenarios raise eyebrows and others are heartwarming. Can you take a few minutes to share how you met your future husband?

JILL: Yes.

ME: Go ahead...

JILL: Yes.

ME: Please take your time...

JILL: Yes.

ME: Okay, moving along. Americans have always been intrigued by our First Ladies, especially their tastes in fashion. Can you tell us when you became fascinated by sofa prints?

JILL: For some reason, the best dress designs are on couches.

ME: As our nation’s First Couple, much is done for you. Are there any tasks you continue to do on your own?

JILL: I like doing some things around our Delaware house. For example, when our daughter Ashley comes for a visit, I always make sure the shower is sparkling clean.

ME: Do you think working Americans identify with you and Joe?

JILL: Lunch Pail Joe and I are just like regular folks who shop at Balmart …

ME: You mean Walmart.

JILL: Yeah, Galmart. We are like average working Americans except most of our friends are in China, Iran, and Ukraine.

ME: Some Americans believe the Biden family partners with the Communist Chinese.

JILL: 绝不 (Never)

ME: Some Americans believe the Biden administration is too cozy with the Islamic terrorist regime in Iran.

JILL: هرگز........

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