Felon Donald Trump arose glassy-eyed from his crypt of self-pity Friday morning to remind Americans he’s not just the first convicted criminal to run for president – he’s also a rambling, incoherent mess.

Speaking of his conviction on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records to cloak a hush-money payment to former adult-film star Stormy Daniels ahead of the 2016 election, Trump babbled at reporters who had gathered inside Trump Tower in Manhattan.

“Crimes crimes, they’s falsifying business records,” he said, looking exhausted and more half-crazed than usual. “That sounds so bad, to me it sounds very bad, You know it’s only a misdemeanor (FACT CHECK: These were felony counts) but to me it sounds so bad, when they say falsifying business records, that’s a bad thing for me, I’ve never had that before. Im falsifying … you know what falsifying business records is, in the first degree, they say falsifying business records, sounds so good, right?”

Uhhh … sure?

The man some actually believe is qualified to be president of the United States also claimed witnesses in his trial were “literally........

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