Janice was perplexed. The smallest issue on her part would send her partner, Joshua, into a rage. He would stomp around and even throw things within the home.

Although Janice knew that all of us are imperfect and can get angry, this was different. Joshua showed frequent displays of temper, about once every two weeks and over a long period of time. The anger tended to be intense and much stronger than the situation warranted. For example, she once served pancakes for dinner, and Joshua exploded, blaming her for inadequate nutrition as he stormed out of the house. After over a year of enduring this, she realized that a change had to occur.

Tantrums in a partner are challenging episodes based on the advice one finds on Google. For example, people are advised to set boundaries, which is good because it protects you. Saying you will leave the room can quiet the tantrum if there is no one else there toward whom the partner can temporarily vent the anger. Yet, these are behavioral approaches for temporary relief. The point of this essay is to discuss ways to eliminate the tantrums altogether or at least to make them very infrequent.

Here are six ideas worth considering:

So often, the person having a temper tantrum is responding to something in the immediate environment or at least to something that happened recently. For example, the partner might have been frustrated at work four hours ago. Now comes the tantrum.

If these are frequent, look beyond the present and the not-so-distant past. Look even farther back. Did the partner’s father show similar behavior? Did the partner develop anger at........

© Psychology Today