Research shows that men seek help for mental health only half as often as women.

Many men lack an understanding of their emotions.

Mindfulness increases one's awareness of emotions and reduces reactivity.

According to a national health survey, approximately twice as many women seek help for mental health issues as compared to men. In addition, women are twice as likely to take a prescribed medication for their mental wellness as are men.

Other research shows that twice as many women are diagnosed with depression. Despite this, men commit suicide almost four times as frequently.

Obviously, something is keeping men from getting the help they need. What's up, guys?

Let's look at what I believe are three key reasons for diminished mental health in men, and then see how they can be remedied. These reasons are:

1. Societal norms about being male. In this norm, men are supposed to "suck it up," "man up," and so on. In other words, to be a good man means stuffing your feelings and emotions. Of course, looking at the suicide rate as mentioned above, there's a steep price to pay for this strategy.

2. A lack of understanding their emotions. In therapy, women often seek to work with their emotions. For example, I once asked someone how he felt about a recent accomplishment. His reply was, "I feel productive." That's nice, but "productive" is not an emotion. This is a big problem for many men (and many women too). For all humans, regardless of how rational we believe ourselves to be, our emotions are mixed into everything. We cannot escape the fact that we are deeply emotional beings.

3. The belief that asking for help is a form of weakness. This stigma attached to asking for help may be one of the biggest reasons men are often reluctant to seek therapy. In my practice, I saw signs of this changing as I saw a range of men who came to my clinic. They ranged from software developers and truck drivers to doctors and teachers.

Before we look at a mindfulness remedy, let's point out some risk factors for men.

Divorced men are more at risk for severe depression.

Alcohol abuse or substance abuse—1 in 5 men develop alcohol dependency during their lifetime. Three times more men die from alcohol-related causes than women.

Also, men tend to experience depression differently. Instead of feeling sad or worthless, they often report feeling angry and irritable. They can lose interest in their hobbies, feel bored, report fatigue, and may be apathetic. If you or someone you care about has these warning signs, talk to them about this or seek professional help.

The Truth About Emotions

First, it's important to recognize that emotions are normal and natural. You don't need to push them away or avoid them. Isn't that a relief?

Feelings are another kind of information. They help us get our needs met. If you can’t identify at least five emotions, that could be a sign that you can improve your emotional understanding and vocabulary. (If you're interested, try naming five emotions right now.)

Did you ever hear the expression, If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail? Here are some primary emotions that you've probably experienced: anger, sadness, fear, joy, interest, surprise, disgust, and shame.

With a lot of emotions, we need to dig deeper to see if there's really another emotion lurking beneath the surface. For example, if a good friend forgets your birthday or doesn't show up for a scheduled lunch, are you only angry? Or, maybe you’re really frustrated, disappointed, exasperated, or hurt.

Likewise, let's suppose that something good happens to you, such as getting a promotion or reaching another goal. But instead of just feeling happy, maybe you are also astonished, surprised, shocked, amazed, awed, or thrilled.

Mindfulness Remedy for Making Friends With Emotions

Mindfulness helps you slow down and notice your emotions. This won't change the emotion or make it go away. But it can change your relationship to the emotion.

With mindfulness, you pay attention to the following: Where in the body am I experiencing this emotion or feeling? How strongly am I feeling this? What is a safe and positive way for me to respond to this emotion? If I gave this feeling a name, what would I call it?

Brain science tells us that if you can name the emotion, you can tame the emotion. That's because when you name your emotion, you are actually engaging the executive, thinking part of the brain. This distances you from being in the grip of the brain's fear and flight system. This shift lets you decide how to respond in the moment, rather than just react.

Naming emotions takes time, but it can give you a sense of control over an emotion, and that is the key to emotional regulation. With emotional regulation, you can notice emotions as they arise in the moment.

A final aspect of men's mental health is paying attention to self-care. Are you getting enough sleep, the right nutrition, supportive social connections, and so on?

It takes courage to look at your emotions and not just stuff them. By applying some of the ideas here, you are taking a first step to regulating emotions and improving your mental health.

Don't give up. It takes time and effort to practice emotional awareness. And, if you should need assistance (professional or otherwise) in doing this, know that you are acting in a wise and loving way to yourself and those around you.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

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