The DBT House rules are guidelines designed to foster harmonious living with others. This article will dive into DBT House Rule Number 5, which emphasizes respecting each other's capabilities, limits, and needs.

Recognizing the Limits of Capability

"Why can't you just hold me when I am upset? That's all I need. That will calm me down. I can't handle it when you get cold and distant. It makes me so angry." Penelope wants her husband to understand how simple it could be to end their arguments if he just held her when she asked him to.

But what if Derek isn't capable of doing what she asks? What if it isn't willfulness or being cold? What if he is also frustrated? And he doesn't want to hold her when he's angry with her. Or he might be afraid to touch her when they are both angry in case their fight becomes physical. What if the best he can do is try to regulate his own emotions, and he isn't capable of helping........

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