Summer is here, and many couples are headed out of town for a great trip or staying home for a "staycation." Beautiful weather nudges us toward taking time for fun and relaxation. We've worked hard through the rain and cold, and now we need a break and time for enjoyment. Couples need this time, too, for their relationship. Life gets in the way, and opportunities for extended time together are few and far between. Vacations offer a chance to relax, have fun, and reconnect.

Yet, so often couples come back from a vacation unhappy about the trip that was supposed to be fun but ended up being a disaster. No one had a good time, someone worked harder than the other, you ended up upsetting each other, and there are new messes to clean up in your relationship. When I ask, “Did you make a plan ahead of time for that vacation?” I hear crickets.

I play it out further: “What if you talked about your hopes and needs for that vacation? Such as, 'How late would you like to stay at the beach today?' Or, 'Do you want time to yourself while the kids swim?' 'Museum or tour today?'” I get a universal reaction: “Ohhhhh,........

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