Oh, London! A modern Babylon composed entirely of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics, to paraphrase the words of Benjamin Disraeli and Oscar Wilde. People have despised the capital for centuries – I’m sure archeologists will soon unearth a despairing letter from a Roman centurion stationed in Londinium in 200AD, complaining about the crowds, the noise, and how a large flat white will now set you back a fiver.

These days, moaning about London has taken on a distinctly unpleasant flavour. In some corners of the right-wing online commentariat, beating up on the capital has become something of a bête noire. “Back to the UK tomorrow,” tweeted writer Charlotte Gill. “I’ve never had such dread coming back to London and knowing how unpleasant it’ll be. The demographic changes and the feeling that [Union Jack emoji] is against most Brits.”

Conservative academic Matthew Goodwin agreed: “London is turning into an unaffordable shithole with the ‘enjoyable’ parts closed off to an elite minority.”

In many ways, I can see exactly where they’re coming from. There’s nothing more depressing than being in London when you’re suffering post-holiday malaise, or trying to eke out some fun on a tight budget – or worse, trying to........

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