As a Hollywood movie might say, the following is a true story. In December I was awoken at an hour normally reserved for foxes, bakers and people with unresolved issues by what sounded like a small but determined demolition project taking place on my front door. BANG. BANG. BANG. “Open the door!”

Now, as a rule, when someone is hammering on your door in the middle of the night and shouting imperatives, there are two perfectly reasonable follow-up questions. The first is Why? The second, more urgent one, is Who are you?

So, groggy, disorientated and already mentally drafting my own crime-scene documentary, I shouted back through the door: “Who is it?” The reply came instantly, with no hesitation whatsoever: “Open the door – your neighbour needs your help!”

This, I would suggest, is not an answer to the question Who are you? It is an answer to an entirely different question, namely What is your moral expectation of me as a functioning member of........

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