I had to go to Ballymena last week to pick up some tiles (Fionnuala wanted to improve the splashback situation at the hob) and decided to treat myself to a mini-breakfast in the town. But when I returned to the car, I was stopped dead in my tracks: it was clamped.

I had paid for my parking so the shock was palpable, but when I saw a large yellow UNTAXED VEHICLE sticker on the window, I racked my brains – how could this have happened? I checked online and realised I had forgotten to tax the car after it’s recent MOT – and the galling thing is that it’s even free to tax, due to a quirk with its omissions.

I rang the number on the notice and a Geordie fella answered, but he was struggling with my accent so he transferred me to a second guy.

“Stop talking, man. What is your accent, man?”

Tory Casement pledge almost out of extra time - The Irish News view

Patrick Murphy: If we really want to unite Ireland, Narrow Water is a bridge too far

“How can you not understand?” I was affronted. “T........

© The Irish News