I use the term "mind space" to describe the bandwidth of conscious thoughts. Conscious thoughts about navigating the environment occupy relatively little mind space; most behavior runs on autopilot, while we think of other things. To appreciate the point, recall the last time you drove home and try to remember all your thoughts that were unrelated to driving.

The "other things" that occupy our limited mind space — more than present conditions and future considerations — are echoes of past experiences. Thoughts of experiences that did not meet our expectations are repeated far more frequently than thoughts of experiences that did. For example, rejection experiences are far outnumbered by times we weren’t rejected, yet we think of rejection more often than we think about feeling accepted.

At least thoughts of hurt and rejection can help us avoid those........

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