Understanding Child Development

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Repeated humiliation in childhood can quietly shape how a child responds to frustration and conflict.

Learning difficulties combined with ridicule may increase feelings of shame in children.

Aggressive behavior in children sometimes reflects deeper emotional pain rather than defiance.

Early recognition by parents, teachers, or caregivers can redirect a child’s emotional path.

Santiago was about 11 years old when I first met him in a private school in Bogotá. At the time, I worked there supporting students who struggled with learning and adjustment in the classroom. Santiago had arrived through a government program that placed children from underprivileged neighborhoods in private schools when nearby public schools had no space available.

From the beginning, it was clear that Santiago felt different from his classmates. Many of the other students came from families with greater financial resources, and the difference appeared in small details that children notice quickly. Some commented on his worn shoes or the way his uniform looked slightly older than theirs. Others noticed his books or the old backpack he carried every day.

To adults, these moments may appear minor. In many schools, teasing is dismissed as something ordinary between children. For Santiago, those experiences slowly accumulated. Day after day, he sat in the same classroom with the quiet awareness that he did not fully belong.

The Signs That Something Was Wrong

Academic work soon revealed another challenge. Santiago struggled with reading and writing tasks that many of his classmates seemed to manage easily. When reading aloud, he often hesitated or lost his place in the text. A few classmates began repeating his mistakes in a mocking tone, turning his difficulty into a moment of laughter.

Over time, we discovered that Santiago lived with ADHD, dyslexia, and weaknesses in phonological awareness. These conditions affected the way he processed language and made reading particularly demanding. Each time he stumbled over words in front of the class, the embarrassment grew heavier.

Parents, teachers, tutors, and caregivers sometimes encounter these moments without realizing what they may signal. Children who experience repeated humiliation often begin to change in subtle ways. A child who once participated freely may begin avoiding reading aloud. Another may become unusually defensive when corrected. Some children grow quiet and withdrawn. Others react with sudden frustration.

Santi, as I used to call him, began expressing that tension through aggression. On several occasions, he pushed another student after being mocked during group activities. At first, the behavior appeared to be a disciplinary issue. With time, it became clear that the anger carried something deeper than a simple disagreement between classmates.

Psychological research suggests that repeated humiliation can influence how children regulate emotions and interact with others. When shame becomes persistent, some children withdraw from social interaction. Others begin expressing emotional distress through anger or aggressive behavior (Zhang et al., 2025).

Understanding Child Development

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Find a child or adolescent therapist near me

Recognizing these patterns early can change the direction of a child’s life. Adults who spend time around children often notice the first shifts in behavior. A child who suddenly avoids reading, reacts strongly to teasing, or becomes easily embarrassed may be carrying emotional pain that has not yet found words.

Recognizing the Child Behind the Behavior

The turning point came during a conversation with Santiago after one of the incidents in class. Rather than focusing on punishment, we spent time talking about how he experienced the classroom. At first, he struggled to explain what he felt. Slowly, he began describing the embarrassment he experienced when reading aloud and the laughter that sometimes followed.

What appeared as defiance gradually revealed itself as humiliation and frustration. Once Santiago’s learning profile became clear, the school introduced targeted support. Reading instruction was adapted to address his dyslexia and phonological processing difficulties. Teachers also adjusted expectations in the classroom so he could participate without constant comparison to others.

Research on adverse childhood experiences shows that early emotional environments influence how young people manage anger and social relationships (Xiaoli, 2025). When support arrives early, the emotional trajectory of a child can shift in meaningful ways.

Gradually, Santiago’s aggressive reactions became less frequent. Small academic successes began building his confidence. The boy who once avoided reading aloud slowly started volunteering to read short passages when he felt prepared.

Why Early Attention Matters

Santiago’s story reveals how easily shame can take root in a young mind when humiliation remains unnoticed. It also shows how powerful early recognition can be.

Parents, teachers, tutors, and caregivers often face the challenge of seeing beyond a child’s behavior. Aggression, withdrawal, defensiveness, or persistent embarrassment during academic tasks can signal deeper emotional struggles. Children rarely possess the language needed to explain what they feel. Adults become the ones who notice patterns that children themselves cannot yet describe.

Santiago eventually overcame many of the challenges that once caused him shame. With appropriate academic support and emotional guidance, he developed confidence in his abilities and discovered strategies that helped him manage his learning differences.

Today, after so many years, I sometimes find myself wondering what became of Santi. I wonder about the life of that resilient boy who once sat quietly in the classroom carrying the weight of humiliation. I wonder where his path has taken him and whether he still remembers the difficult years that shaped his determination.

What remains certain is that Santi taught me something important. Behind many moments of childhood aggression, there is often a young person struggling with humiliation, frustration, or fear. When those signals are recognized early, the outcome can change in remarkable ways.

Sometimes, the difference between a life shaped through anger and a life shaped through resilience begins with one adult who notices a child at the right moment.

Xiaoli, Y. (2025). Adverse childhood experiences and aggression: A meta-analysis of moderators and cultural context. Archives of Medical Science, 21(5), 2195–2199. https://doi.org/10.5114/aoms/211887

Zhang, X., Zhang, Z., Zhao, Y., Shen, F., Zhang, Q., Lin, R., & Zhang, X. (2025). From victims to aggressors: The link between childhood family abuse and adolescent peer bullying. BMC Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-025-03407-3

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