Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes.

Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, differentiating them from the dangerous ones, individuals with high levels of anxiety, and accompanying obsessions with security, tend to conceive of vulnerability as a general weakness. Safety exists solely in their own minds.

Perfectionists believe that perfection is perfection everywhere. Thus, much of the work in therapy entails cultivating an understanding of the duality of a trait, learning to see it as beneficial (being a perfect fit) in one environment while flawed in another. And perfectionists tend to fear feeling and expressing their feelings. When we consider psychological safety, we think of people and environments we feel safe with and in. When perfectionists consider the same construct, they think of being fortified from everyone, as the world, to them in general, is a hyper-competitive and unforgiving venue, where only the strong survive.

This was my perspective when I was in therapy with my therapist, Jennifer. Revelations were scarce and I spent much of our time intellectualizing, searching for the causes of my problems without ever creating solutions. I couldn't tell her how scared I was of change or how much I........

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