Self-love, silencing the inner critic, and eliminating negative emotions together constitute the pursuit of any perfectionist.

On the surface, these appear to be worthwhile goals, those seemingly addressed in any counselor's office. Yet, counterintuitively, they may contribute to the patient's distress. While he rigidly remains preoccupied with finding reasons to like himself, he fails to take notice of how his obsessions affect others and his life more broadly. Erroneously, he believes that if he solves enough of his problems, finally laying them to rest, he'll be, fundamentally, happy. Again, all of this, on the surface, seems logical and worthy of one's time. But, these goals, and the preoccupation with them, may form the bedrock of what's known as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, a personality style marked by moral rigidity, lack of empathy, and difficulty embracing change.

To be preoccupied with oneself is, by definition, an inability to care deeply about others. In........

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