“You just need to feel your feelings.” We hear it all the time, but what does that mean? And even if you successfully “feel your feelings,” then what? Is that enough?

The way we speak about emotions has evolved over time. Fortunately, we seem to have agreed that unwanted emotions are no longer the enemy and that pushing them out is futile and causes suffering. The prevailing viewpoint on emotions now seems to be that they are something to name, accept, and observe. This is progress, but it does not address the reason the unwanted emotion is present in the first place.

Combining acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) principles with evolutionary psychology offers insight into our emotions. Emotions evolved for a reason. Consider our basic needs: escaping danger, creating bonds, or finding a mate. Our emotions help us respond to our environment to pass on our genes. They signal danger, trust, or the need to protect. Like hunger or pain, emotions are bodily signals alerting us to aspects of our well-being that need attention. Emotions are, therefore, adaptive tools that we can use to help us live more fulfilling lives—not just feelings to observe.

But what are our emotions signaling? Emotions tell us what is important—what we value. After all, if you don’t feel emotional about something, you probably don’t value it; if you don’t value something, it won’t elicit strong emotions.

Unpleasant emotions alert us to values needing attention, nourishment, and healing—while pleasant emotions signal value fulfillment. We may feel sad when we lose something we value, frustrated when something valuable is out of reach, jealous if someone fulfills a........

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