I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals who sought help for anger management. They were referred by the courts, by supervisors, by friends or by a significant other. Some seemed to have no remorse about their behavior. And others came on their own volition, recognizing the negative impact it had on their lives. They were often burdened by guilt and shame regarding anger. Many of these clients evidenced trait anger, a chronic disposition for anger arousal that informed their personality.

Anger is a human reaction to feeling threatened, most often to negative emotions such as fear, injustice, shame, rejection, disappointment, frustration and powerlessness. It is a mind-body state that encompasses physiological and bodily reactions, thoughts, and emotions–which together may or may not lead to aggression.

My clients shared a variety of personal histories regarding anger, often tracing their tendency for anger arousal to childhood or adolescence. Many were victims of or witnesses to some form of aggression in their homes or with close associations. Some viewed their tendency as inherited from or modeled after a parent who was prone to anger. Others cited certain life events as major triggers for their anger–such as trauma, conflictual relationships, mental or physical challenges related to accidents or illness, and the loss of relationships or a job—in effect, the broad variety of challenges we face in the course of living.

Clients referred for anger management vary in their motivation to change as well as in their belief that they can change. Some describe their anger (and even aggression) as serving them well in coping with dangers they experienced as a child........

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