“Cringe” is such a great word. Virtually onomatopoeic, so vividly does the very weakness of its sound conjure the quivering, quailing inward and/or outward reaction it denotes. And at such times as the run-up to a general election it becomes not just a satisfying term but a vital one, especially when conjoined with intensifiers such as “massive”, “overwhelming” or “full-body”.

So, then, to Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s declaration. An unforced one, one he absolutely voluntarily chose to make, from which we can only infer that he thought it a good and helpful thing to say, do remember – in an interview that he went without “many things” as a child because his parents prioritised education (and sent him to the currently £52,000 a year Winchester public school), including Sky TV.

I will pause a moment to let the cringe pass through you either for the first time or anew (sorry – either way I should have issued a trigger warning at the top of the paragraph in case you were holding a hot beverage or newborn child and needed to set it down before the weakening spasm arrived).

Let’s get the immediate practicalities out of the way first before we delve into the real meat of the matter.

One, you don’t manage to put your child through a full........

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