Co-host of TV's Parental Guidance and podcast Happy Families DR JUSTIN COULSON says boys lost to screens and algorithms designed to be addictive need smart parenting.

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If your teenager is raging about Wi-Fi passwords or you've just discovered he's gaming until 3am, you're not alone.

I've spoken with a parent whose 15-year-old threw a chair because of an argument about screens. One parent told me her 15-year-old son broke his father's nose because dad lost his patience after calling him to get off his game and come for dinner 'at least six times'.

Door slams, holes in walls, smashed screens, broken game controllers, swearing, pushing, shoving.

These are the serious difficulties some parents face as they confront the screen wars playing out in their corridors and living rooms. And some parents shrug, leaving their sons to game all weekend, captured by the screen and not leaving their room.

Our sons are swimming through a digital ocean full of fishing lines baited with the most tantalising hooks known to the human brain. YouTube. Video games. Pornography. Gambling. Crypto investing. Reels of violence, drug taking, extreme behaviours, and devastating acts including beheadings, shootings, stabbings, fighting, theft, and more.

Shallow, hollow, false satisfaction entices him, ensnares him and reels him in. And by comparison, everything off the screen feels unrewarding. Devices provide the illusion of need-satisfaction at every turn: competence, connection, control.

Big Tech is focused on addicting our children to their platforms and devices. They've done nothing to earn our trust, and they're not changing.

This is your six-pillar playbook for avoiding a screen war and guiding your son to healthy decision making around screens with the tools and resources you have.

Before we kick off: if your son shows signs of depression or anxiety linked to screens, becomes violent when limits are spoken about or enforced (because he can't set them himself), lies consistently despite your conversations, shows limited or no interest in real-world activities for extended periods, or experiences significant academic or social decline, seek professional help.

Search online for a clinician experienced with gaming and tech issues. The strategies below work for most families, but some situations require more support.

1. Delay device access

Sapiens Lab researchers discovered that the earlier your child receives his own smartphone, the greater the mental health challenges he'll experience between 18 and 24 years of age. Similar results are showing up in other studies.

Tell your son: 'You can have a phone when you can pay for it yourself. Even then, we'll determine appropriate limits together.' If your son requires a device before he can pay for it himself, provide a phone with limited or no internet. He only needs it for texting and calling. Kids don't need smartphones; they need smart parents. Smart parents give their kids dumb phones.

2. Remove the need for willpower

Wi-Fi control is your secret weapon. Dr Brad Marshall's research points to having effective limits on the hardware of the Wi-Fi router. Relying only on software controls is like putting a Do Not Enter sign on a door. Your son can open the door with a shrug and a 'whatever'.

A quick online search shows how to set up automatic Wi-Fi cutoffs at bedtime and family time. By minimising access to 4G and 5G networks plus shutting down Wi-Fi, you'll reduce time online and cut down on the time Big Tech, Big Gambling, and Big Porn have to ensnare him.

3. Outsmart the addiction industry

Game designer William Siu admitted games are designed to 'take away the decision making' and keep players hooked. 'We wanted people to reach for their phones first thing in the morning and jump right into our games.' Free massive online games, like those designed by Siu and his colleagues, make money through persuasive design calibrated to extract money and attention. And new research shows they're gambling gateways.

Instead, buy games from stores and avoid massive, free internet-based games if you can afford it. Games........

© Canberra Times