Cricket is obsessifying, if that's even a word. On Boxing Day, there is nothing I love more than slumping on the couch watching the telly. Doubt there'll ever be a better one than 2006.

Subscribe today for the news that matters

Login or signup to continue reading

Once you get the hang of it, it's pretty tough to look away. I'm even happy to watch two of my grandkids having a lash at Cricket Blast (excellent way of developing skills, btw. Not too expensive, well-structured and, blessedly, not all day). Skills definitely growing but probably not fast enough to represent Australia - but grandma can dream, can't she?

The game itself, whether played by women or men, is utterly captivating. Ball approaching at a squillion kilometres an hour, bat ready to attack. Fielders at the ready. Good thing I never played it myself because I would have just closed my eyes and prayed I could get bat to ball. Hot tip: don't do that.

But honestly, the past couple of days watching Australian cricket dirty itself again has made me want to close my eyes to the drama. For a sport which is meant to be slow and stately, it has developed a main character energy which is not all that attractive.

As evidence I bring you a series of gates. They were not all called -gates at the time but should have been. Especially underarmgate!

That's the earliest one in my cricketing memory. 1981. In typical older brother style, Greg Chappell ordered Trevor Chappell to do the dirty. Last ball of the day. Underarm bowl to New Zealand batsman Brian McKechnie.

"It was a spur-of-the-moment decision and I was mindful of what I was doing," Chappell said. "I thought there was a chance of McKechnie hitting a six to tie the game and I had no intention of finding out whether he could".

Then there was homeworkgate where coach Mickey Arthur suspended four excellent players, James Pattinson, Mitchell Johnson, Shane Watson and Usman Khawaja, for not doing their homework (compiling a list of points on how the individual's game could be improved). Suspended. Half of bloody Australia would be suspended if........

© The Examiner