Are you feeling unexcited about work these days? Do you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities at home? You may be stressed, or you could be suffering from burnout. How can you tell these apart? Many neurodivergent folks struggle with managing stress until they are so tapped out that burnout has set it. It can be tougher for adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) to recall and apply tools that they know will create more stability and calm in their lives due to challenges with emotional regulation and working memory. Understanding how stress and burnout are related and how they differ can assist you in keeping yourself energized and centered for work, home, and relationships.
Stress continues to be unusually high for many people right now due to all kinds of socioeconomic, familial, and political issues. Stress and burnout are two ends of the energy spectrum. Stress occurs when there are so many pressures on your mind and body: it’s a matter of too much. When people are stressed, they wonder about finding some trick to figure out how to get their lives under control. They experience physical symptoms and feel weighed down by the demands of daily life. Sometimes, they search for a magic solution to make it all go away. Whether you are dealing with persistent work changes, constant demands at home, or all-consuming projects in either place, stress means that you’re juggling various issues and attempting to solve them simultaneously. Life feels overwhelming, with no end in sight.
Persistent stress can lead to burnout over time. You are giving too much until there’s nothing left to give. Burnout reflects a deficiency: it’s a matter of not enough. You lack energy or resources because you are depleted. Your fuel tank is empty. When people are burned out, they experience more emotional symptoms such as hopelessness, sadness, impatience, and procrastination. There's a deep level of exhaustion that no amount of sleep can address. You’ve been multitasking and overworking for too long, wearing out your brain and your body. The candle that you’ve been burning at both ends has no wax left.
Both stress and burnout indicate that a person's work/life balance is out of whack. While lowering stress can prevent and minimize burnout, the two conditions require different but related interventions. The key to lowering stress lies in reducing your commitments and slowing down stimulation. For folks with ADHD, these options can be unappealing and boring. Who wants to limit fun activities or do only one thing at a time?
Because the ADHD brain craves novelty and struggles with managing intense emotions, it can be especially tough for you to do the activities that will help you manage stress. Decreasing overwhelm by pausing or giving yourself time before agreeing to do something, scheduling adequate downtime to integrate and process information and experiences, and doing more of what you enjoy will help you feel less stressed. Setting up routines for eating, sleeping, personal hygiene, cooking healthy food, and spending time with friends reduces the sense of drowning–a key factor of stress. You want to aim to decrease the ‘too-muchness’ of your life. Start by picking one habit to change instead of three or four to launch yourself towards making the progress you desire.
Recovering from burnout differs because the issues relate more to feeling empty, overburdened, or unsatisfied. Isolation, shame, and self-criticism are common denominators for folks who experience burnout. Burnout is often the result of an imbalance in the work-life ratio in your day-to-day existence. Burnout can also include feeling zapped with energy in the parenting arena: you are drained, frustrated, and fed up. Start by reducing stress and cutting back on commitments for you and your kids. How can you set limits on these? Then, bring in recovery by increasing the time you spend doing what feeds you, what brings you joy. Think about something that makes you happy: choose something small and doable. Maybe it's taking a weekly bath; maybe it's taking a walk after work; maybe it's grabbing coffee with a dear friend; maybe it's having a movie night with your kids or your partner. How can you create a routine for maintaining this one change? It's the consistency that will counter the emptiness and start to fill you back up. The key to recovering from and preventing burnout is active self-care and a healthy lifestyle.
Follow these tips to reduce mental and emotional burnout at work and at home:
Give yourself time to try these strategies. High levels of stress and intense burnout do not occur overnight and won't go away immediately, either. Rebalancing is a long-term commitment to your well-being, and judging yourself for not changing faster is counterproductive. So be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion. Progress may look like two steps forward one day and one step backward the next. Keep going anyway!
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