It’s hard to pin certain struggles in adulthood on specific experiences in childhood. People with similar upbringings can turn out very different, and kids with completely different home lives can grow into adults who share many emotional or behavioral patterns.

Nevertheless, research studies consistently find that difficult experiences in one’s family of origin raise the risk for various problems later in life. My experience as a therapist confirms these findings, revealing many long-term effects of a difficult childhood.

In some cases, the painful past includes adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) such as a parent's major mental illness or witnessing domestic violence. For others, childhood stress comes in the form of a chaotic environment, such as a disorganized and overly stimulating home and a lack of family structure and routine (Marsh et al., 2020).

The following 16 signs of a difficult early home life are based on research as well as my observations in therapy.

You feel the need to be productive all the time. If you have a spare moment, you look for something to fill it. Relaxing feels like lowering your defenses, and letting down your guard doesn't feel safe.

In a similar way, you struggle with vacations and holidays, and even weekends. Downtime means more time to feel uneasy and restless. It’s a relief to return to the grind.

You learned early on that the only person you can really count on is yourself. You don’t expect other people to be dependable and are sure they’ll let you down at some point, even those who so far have always been there for you.

Relationships aren’t the only thing you don’t trust. In most of your life you........

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