When we have feelings, we often think of them simply as emotions we’re having: I feel angry so I’m angry. I feel anxious so I must be anxious. However, what we feel is sometimes not that simple—the feelings we have can either be primary or secondary, and that difference is important.

A primary emotion is how a situation actually makes us feel, someone says something unkind and we feel hurt or sad. A secondary emotion is a feeling we have as a reaction to a primary emotion because the primary feeling is uncomfortable. For example, commonly when people feel hurt they aren’t aware of feeling hurt because the........

© Psychology Today