Being perfect, as you’ve likely heard, is an impossible aspiration for any human person; consequently, trying to be perfect is a hopeless and doomed affair. But this common knowledge won’t eliminate the mental health scourge of perfectionism, which many of its practitioners may still see as a healthy effort toward optimum living. Let’s be fair, of course: Trying to be perfect can motivate us to work hard on our goals and encourages us to put forth our best efforts (Thomson, 2019)—neither of which is a bad thing. Anyone who watched the Paris Olympics has seen the glowing results of a contemporary athlete’s pursuit of perfection; performances like those of our gold medal winners seem so flawless that they deserve our full respect and reverence. In fields like sports or dance, perfection seems like a worthwhile goal, as it brings out some truly memorable efforts (Stoeber, 2018). But even so, the overall negative results of perfectionistic strivings will generally overwhelm the positive.

According to Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson, who literally wrote the book on perfectionism (that is, When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism), most perfectionistic people demonstrate three main traits: adopting personal standards too high to meet; setting performance expectations so high that outcomes are not improved but inhibited; and experiencing depression or anxiety as a result of their frustrated need to be perfect. The pressures they feel, as Antony and Swinson describe, come from within and usually apply to themselves as much as they apply to the people in their lives.

At first blush, having high standards might seem like a good quality. But consider what it might be like to hold the kind of standards that neither you nor anyone else in your life can meet. Practically speaking, unrealistic standards will lead to a lot of wasted time, as a perfectionist endlessly measures, calibrates, or analyzes instead of working to complete a project. Joachim Stoeber, in The Psychology of Perfectionism: Theory, Research, Applications, points out that perfectionists tend to be notorious........

© Psychology Today