Mellie, a 28-year-old trans woman, struggled to recognize the abuse she was experiencing in her relationship with Jamie. In the beginning, Jamie was very loving and understanding, and celebrated Mellie’s identity, showering her with affection and compliments. But as the relationship deepened, Jamie’s behavior shifted, and she would often belittle Mellie’s choices, mocking her for her clothing or the way she expressed her gender.

The emotional abuse escalated when Jamie threatened to "out" Mellie to her family and friends if she ever considered leaving. Jamie also refused to use Mellie’s chosen name and pronouns, insisting on using her dead name as a form of control. Each instance chipped away at Mellie’s self-esteem, leaving her feeling invisible and trapped.

As the relationship progressed, Mellie found herself increasingly isolated from her friends. Jamie discouraged her from attending LGBTQ events or connecting with supportive communities, claiming that they were a bad influence. Feeling alone and powerless, Mellie wrestled with internalized doubts and guilt, questioning whether she deserved better, or if it was even possible for her to have a healthy relationship.

One night, after an intense argument, Jamie became physically aggressive, pushing Mellie to the ground. It was the first time Mellie had experienced physical violence in a relationship, and it shattered her sense of safety. Jamie justified her behavior by using transphobic statements such as mentioning Mellie being bigger and stronger than her.

Months later, Mellie was still struggling to get a protection order against her ex. The judge, unwilling to use Mellie's name and correct pronouns, refused to believe that Mellie was a victim in this situation, and instead scoffed at this "little disagreement."

Mellie's story is not unique. Traditional notions of domestic and intimate partner violence (IPV) often center around heterosexual relationships, which can lead to a lack of relevant resources for LGBTQ individuals2. Many........

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