Parenting teens poses many dilemmas. One particular challenge for parents is how to guide them toward thoughtful, healthy, and safe decision-making while not alienating them. We want our kids to work toward goals, interact with peers who bring out the best in them, and work for and earn positive results in their endeavors. Remember, it is the adolescent’s charge to assert and practice their independence, an important set of skills if they are to develop into responsible and self-sufficient adults. It also seems a parent’s unspoken wish that teens do all of these things without ever making mistakes and through execution by our design. If parents are going to impart their wisdom effectively, teens need to feel their self-determination is being respected in the process and that errors are expected for growth to occur.

Parents and helping adults tend to be excellent problem solvers. After all, we have years of experience that inform us on how to predict, plan, respond, and recalculate our decision-making in a variety of contexts with a fair amount of success. In light of teens’ immature decision-making skills, it can feel tempting to exert measures of control to........

© Psychology Today