Learning to Accept Your Emotions
By Xavier Banson, BA, and Matthew Dixon, Ph.D.
Imagine you have a deadline coming up and you’ve been working for hours, but you feel like you’re getting nowhere. You’re starting to feel really anxious. At this point, you might start to judge yourself for having this emotion: “What’s wrong with me? I don’t have time to be anxious! Why can’t I just focus and be productive?”
Now you have two emotions: (1) feeling anxious about getting work done and (2) feeling frustrated that you are anxious.
When we judge ourselves and generate a second emotion that gets layered on top of the first emotion, we often feel worse and are even less likely to reach our goals.
Sound familiar? At one time or another, most of us get upset at ourselves for having a certain emotion that we don’t want to experience, whether it be anxiety, or anger, or sadness. So, you might now be wondering: “Is there anything I can do to make those secondary emotions less likely?” Thankfully, research suggests that the answer is “yes!”
Many people have heard of “mindfulness.” This term has its origins in Buddhist teachings, but related concepts are found in many teachings from all over the world.
Mindfulness is often associated with doing a meditation practice, but its essence is to be more aware and accepting of our present-moment experience. Sometimes our present-moment experience includes an unpleasant emotion that we might not want to feel. Acceptance can limit judgmental thoughts and unhelpful secondary........
© Psychology Today
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