John Bowly (1958) identified four major "attachment styles" in relation to experiences with primary caregivers. These styles can influence emotional bonds and interpersonal behavior patterns later in life.

Can these descriptions also help us understand our attachments to material possessions?

My journey into understanding material attachment began when I enrolled in an online "decluttering" course. Each week, we are tasked with decluttering a specific room or area. The challenge is not merely to organize, but to let go of material things that no longer serve us. The course's mantra is to "own less and live more" (Joshua Baker), a philosophy that resonates in our age of accumulation.

As I follow the assignments, I notice my internal resistance. I want to justify keeping items based on future regret. For example, as I hold up a worn-out Western blazer, I think, "Should I keep this for a cowboy party that I may attend someday?" Or, "Will I regret giving away this tea cup from a dear friend, even if I never use it?" "Will I be looking for this avocado slicer someday when I have a Mexican party and need to slice 50 avocados?"

Our course instructor would answer these questions by asking whether we are willing to have these things (and others) take up space in our homes and minds. This forecasted regret keeps us from free living. When our spaces are cluttered, our lives feel cluttered and unmanageable.

I do not consider myself a hoarder, but my closets and drawers are overflowing. I have piles that get moved from room to room because they need a proper home. I am slowly working the program and........

© Psychology Today