May 22, 2026 13:58 pm IST

Opinion | Twisha Sharma And India's Deadly Culture Of 'Adjusting A Little More'

A daughter's desperate cry for help is responded to with "adjust", "compromise", or "save the marriage". Her parents even promise to give more dowry, but refuse to bring her back. Girls are repeatedly sent back into abusive homes till one fine day, they are dead.

Audrey D'Mello Audrey D'Mello Columnist

Audrey D'Mello Columnist

Twisha Sharma, a former Miss Pune and an MBA graduate, is dead. Her parents allege she was murdered by her husband and his family over dowry. This case will dominate the headlines for some time, but will eventually fade from public memory like countless others. Beneath the media spectacle lies a more uncomfortable question: what happens in the months, sometimes years, before such deaths? A daughter's desperate cry for help is responded to with "adjust", "compromise", or "save the marriage". Her parents even promise to give more dowry, but refuse to bring her back. Girls are repeatedly sent back into abusive homes till one fine day, they are dead. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 2023, reports 6,156 dowry deaths (S. 304B IPC) in a single year.

Marriage in India is tied to notions of caste, status, and family honour. To secure a socially "suitable" groom, the bride's family "pays for the marital alliance" by giving dowry. The value of dowry is shaped by factors such as the groom's caste, status, income, education, profession, etc. On the other hand, disadvantages of the bride - such as her caste, status, disability, darker skin tone, age, divorce - result in a higher dowry expectation. This custom continues to survive because society sustains it. There is no clear divide between "dowry takers" and "dowry givers" - most families participate and benefit from the system, depending on whether they are marrying a son or a daughter. Dowry, though illegal, is socially visible and openly negotiated.

Once this alliance is secured, a woman is expected to make the marriage work at any cost. When domestic violence begins,........

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