I was all ready for an old-fashioned seventh-grade playground fuss fight, and a vice presidential debate broke out instead.

There was no name-calling, no disparaging comments, no zingers, no one-liners. At one point, the two men involved in what I believed would be a junior varsity version of the main attraction were actually kind and decent to each other. It reminded me of what decorum and restraint and civility looked like from people who are considering running the country — and what a damn snoozefest.

For worse or for worser, former President Donald Trump changed us. He’s changed the way people campaign, he’s changed the rhetoric and the entire political landscape. And, as such, I wanted blood on Tuesday when Republican vice presidential candidate JD Vance went face-to-face with his Democratic counterpart, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz.

I wanted to hear about allegations that Vance has allegedly been intimate with a couch. I wanted Walz to make an emo or goth joke about what appears to be Vance’s eyeliner. I wanted Vance to pounce on Walz’s claim that he “misspoke” when he claimed he was in Hong Kong during the Tiananmen Square pro-democracy protests. And we got nothing.

Both men were restrained; so restrained that they could’ve flatlined during the debate and I don’t think viewers would’ve known the difference, because both men just weren’t ready for politics post-Trump.

And I know that was by design.

Vance did the heavy lifting of trying to appear to be the calm to Trump’s storm and to present himself as less of a weasel and more affable and concerned. And he didn’t do a bad job at it — except we know who he is,........

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