Our children went to a fabulous preschool in which “play” was the primary curriculum. The idea was that play could be the medium for preparing them for whatever they needed in order to be ready to learn when they went to kindergarten.

As radical as it may seem these days, we were not concerned about our kids learning to read before they went to school because we knew they would learn it along the way. Rather, we wanted them to play and be kids.

One of the unique principles of that preschool was not requiring children to share. Their subversive idea was that we are truly capable of sharing only when we know that something is ours to share or not. Being scolded to “share” when there is no confidence of ownership, they believed, only invited resentment and anxiety. So, when a dispute arose because a child wanted to play with something........

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