Adult children tend to resemble their parents, both physically and psychologically. Tall parents have tall kids; challenging parents have challenging kids.

But you probably know plenty of exceptions to this rule. Whereas the parents were harsh, the child is gentle. The parent was selfish, but the child is generous. Narcissistic parents have a thoughtful child. Maybe you’re an exception yourself.

You might have wondered at times, “How did that person come from those parents?!” There are many reasons why difficult parents can wind up with a really decent adult child who treats people with respect and is easy to get along with.

Parents with challenging personalities may have experienced traumatic events that contributed to their interpersonal difficulties. For example, they may have gone through adverse childhood experiences like the death of a parent by suicide or growing up in a violent neighborhood. These difficulties may have shaped who they are in idiosyncratic ways that were not transmitted to their children.

Part of the explanation may be statistical. Unfortunately, there are just a lot of difficult people in the world, including many difficult parents. While it doesn't account for why a person might have an easier personality than their parent, it does explain why there are so many challenging parents.

The parent-child discrepancy might also have a statistical explanation, at least in part. Negative personality traits........

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