Sometimes you need to have a difficult conversation with a coworker. Perhaps they did something to upset you, or perhaps they engage in an ongoing behavior that is troublesome. These conversations are difficult because they can be emotional and cause (or exacerbate) conflict. It’s advisable to prepare well before a difficult conversation, and the five steps here will provide you with a sturdy framework.

Start with self-examination. For example, what are your goals for this difficult conversation? Is it to be right or to change the other person? These are not good reasons. Hopefully, the goal is to be understood, to understand the other person, and to solve a problem mutually.

Also examine your feelings and their roots. What do you feel and why? How do aspects of your past or your personality affect your emotional reactions to this situation? To what extent might your reaction be exaggerated based on your own history and personality? How might others have responded........

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