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A “what if” orientation tends to cultivate grievance.

Living in “what if” causes a person to lose the present and the future.

A “what is” attitude cultivates acceptance of the present.

Acceptance lends itself to flourishing.

Each of us, at some point in our life, has asked ourselves what if questions. For some of us, those questions become a way of life.

Many of us who have struggled with addiction may have spent a lot of time wondering about what if. We may run through a carousel of questions, none of which can be answered. What if I never picked up my first drink or drug? What if I had not second-guessed myself at a crucial juncture in my life? What if my parents had treated me better?

These questions can run on an infinite loop. We become oddly attached to them and the answers that we imagine.

What if thinking is always accompanied by loss. We lose both the present and the future when we become stuck in that loop. When we are always looking........

© Psychology Today