It’s not at all an uncommon experience to be deeply caring and understanding, and yet struggle deeply to apply that same kindness inward. You might view self-compassion as a lower-order priority compared to being outwardly kind and generous; you might even think that you simply don’t deserve it as much as your friends and family. However, when you refrain from extending yourself the kindness that you readily give to others, you deprive your own well-being in ways that research shows are vitally important.

Here are four signs that you may be missing out on self-compassion, and what science says about how to change that.

Self-criticism is one of the primary reasons people struggle to be compassionate to themselves. For instance, should a friend or family member need support after making a mistake, you likely wouldn’t have any difficulty in using comforting, patient tones in order to console them. You’d tell them not to be too hard on themselves and remind them that everybody makes mistakes sometimes. However, if that mistake was your own, your internal monologue might be much sharper, as well as far less forgiving.

As unfortunate as this is, it’s also a pattern that’s supported by research. Specifically, a 2018 study published in Mindfulness found that people tend to feel significantly more compassion for others than they do for........

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